It's All About Who You Know

“It’s all about who you know”

I first heard this statement from a pastor’s wife. She was commenting on how her job was too political.

The inference was that people were promoted to positions of leadership, not based on their character or abilities, but simply on whom their friends were.

Admittedly this does happen. However if you receive a promotion based on friendship, and don’t have the necessary abilities, you won’t have that job for very long.

On the other hand, if you don’t have any friends, you may not get a shot at the job you want.

It doesn’t matter how good you are at something if nobody knows about it.

The truth is “who you know” is a key part of what makes life work.

“Networking is the intersection between work and friendship.”

My best friends are people I work with at my church, or have met at a conference somewhere around the country.

These are people that I genuinely care about. I want to see them succeed and they want to see me succeed.

Networking is like breathing. It’s not the only thing that matters, but if you don’t do it, you won’t last very long.

How do I get started with networking?

• Start with the leaders in your own church. Make a list of the most influential leaders in your church and have coffee with them or take them to lunch. Make a concerted effort to get to know them. Great leaders know how to work with other leaders.

• Participate in events at your church that are not sponsored by the children’s ministry. Attend the Ladies Meetings and the Men’s Retreats. If the greeters don’t recognize you, don’t blame them. Maybe you need to get out more. (Just a thought.)

• Connect with other children’s pastors in your state. Every lunch is an opportunity to meet another like-minded leader.

• Visit other churches. Ask around: Who has a really good children’s program? Go visit those churches. If you can’t get away on a Sunday, do it on a Wednesday night or a Saturday night.

• Participate in networking sites. Take advantage of web sites like CMconnect, Kidology, and Facebook.

• Go To Conferences. One of the best places to meet like-minded people is at Conferences. Three things happen at conferences: Training, Product Sales and Networking. All three are valuable, but my favorite part is networking and meeting new people

In his book “Never Eat Alone”, Keith Ferrazzi says, “True conference commandos aren’t restricted by the agenda that they receive at registration. Who says you can’t arrange your own dinner while at the conference, or put together an informal discussion on a particular topic that matters to you.”

In other words create the conference within the conference.

Here are my Ten Commandments of Networking:

• Think Win/Win. Healthy relationships are mutually benefiting.
• Lead by asking questions. (Come prepared with written questions.)
• Think about the other person first. What can you do to help him or her?
• Listen more. Talk less.
• Be a Giver. Find something of value that you can give away.
• Avoid talking about politics and theological differences. You can learn from anybody, regardless of his or her theology.
• Turn lunchtime into the most productive hour of the day.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help? My mom always said, “The worst they can say is no.”
• Give people space. (Don’t be too clingy.) Meet somebody new and then meet somebody else.
• Get outside of your circle. The body of Christ is a bunch of little circles. If you get to know someone in a new circle he or she can introduce you to many new friends.

Here’s a personal story of how networking works when God is involved.

In 1978 I was attending Bible School in Tulsa, OK. One of my teachers was a man named Willie George. Today Pastor Willie is Senior Pastor of one of the largest churches in America, (Church on the Move) but in 1978 Willie was Children’s Pastor at a local church in Tulsa.

Willie taught a class on “Ministering to Children” that totally changed my life. One day after class I asked Willie if I could get involved in his children’s ministry. He asked me to volunteer in Pre-School class at his church.

After graduating from Bible School I returned to Michigan where I served faithfully as a children’s pastor for four years. I loved what I was doing but I was not making enough money to live on.

One day I called Pastor Willie to seek some counsel and he told me about a new church in Tulsa that was looking to hire a children’s pastor. I met with the senior pastor, Dr. Ken Stewart, and he hired me to be his Children’s Pastor.

I was doing what I loved to do and I was making four times what I was making at the church in Michigan.

In 1986 I took a new position as Children’s Ministry Pastor at Living Word in Minneapolis. Pastor Willie helped me get that job too.

One day I received a package in the mail from this guy named Jim Wideman. Jim was Children’s Pastor at Evangel Assembly in Montgomery at this time.

I opened up the box and there were a slew of Brother Jim’s Puppet Trax tapes. I gave Jim a call to thank him for the free tapes. I got some free tapes for my Kidmin and I made a new friend.

Four years later Willie gave me a call. He was starting a School for Children’s Ministry and he was looking for somebody to head up the school.

I gave him Jim’s name and phone number. Pastor Willie originally hired Jim to start the Kidmin School, but eventually Brother Jim became Children’s Pastor at Church on the Move.

Let’s think about what happened here:

I helped Pastor Willie by serving in his pre-school class as a volunteer.

I learned a lot by watching Willie and serving in a class.

Willie George helped me get two jobs.

I got some free tapes and a good friend for life.

Jim got to be part of a really great church.

Pastor Willie got the services of one of the best children’s pastors in the nation.

Brother Jim helped Pastor Willie grow the church from 1,000 people to 17,000 people.

Here’s my point: God works through relationships. When networking is done right, everybody wins.

Some of the Benefits of Networking:

• Make Friends with Like-minded people
• Learn New Ideas
• Stirs up your Creativity
• Feels good when you help other people
• Helps you think outside of your box
• Helps you advance your career and the careers of others

What are you waiting for? 

• Make a list of people you want to meet.
• Text somebody and invite them to lunch.
• Decide which conference you want to attend.
• Start networking today!