Children's Pastor's Language Guide
Membership Level› Guest
Author/Source: Roger Fields
Topic: Humor
“CHILDREN’S MINISTRY”
To Most People: The black hole of the church. Exact origin: unknown. Sucks people in, never to be seen again in a worship service
To the Children’s Pastor: The highest calling in the world.
“VBS”
To Most People: A week off for mom so having the kids home for the summer won’t be so traumatic.
To the Children’s Pastor: Time of reaching lost kids for the Lord.
“PASTOR’S KID”
To Most People: The offspring of our beloved minister of God.
To the Children’s Pastor: a virus.
“SALARY”
To Most People: Living wage for services rendered.
To the Children’s Pastor: A goal in life.
“HELIUM TANK”
To Most People: A good way to blow up balloons.
To the Children’s Pastor: Office furniture.
“PUPPETS”
To Most People: Stuffed animals or people you can place over your hand.
To the Children’s Pastor: Reliable workers.
“CURRICULUM”
To Most People: Educational materials.
To the Children’s Pastor: Survival kit.
“SUMMERTIME”
To Most People: Sunshine and lemonade.
To the Children’s Pastor: VBS and camp .
“EXODUS”
To Most People: Children of Israel leaving Egypt.
To the Children’s Pastor: Workers leaving for the summer.
“VEGGIE TALES”
To Most People: Videos about talking vegetables.
To the Children’s Pastor: Best way on earth to survive when service goes long.
“VOLUNTEER”
To Most People: Unpaid people who work for fire department.
To the Children’s Pastor: Best word to use for attracting kids and worst word to use for attracting adults.
“KOOL AID”
To Most People: Snack drink.
To the Children’s Pastor: The fifth food group.
“CHOIR”
To Most People: Adults in matching robes who sing in church.
To the Children’s Pastor: Hideout for AWOL nursery workers.
“PRAYER REQUEST”
To Most People: Sick relatives.
To the Children’s Pastor: Sick pets.
“A GOOD CHURCH SERVICE”
To Most People: A good sermon with everyone out on time.
To the Children’s Pastor: No injuries.
“NEW MEMBERS CLASS”
To Most People: Way to become familiar with church doctrine.
To the Children’s Pastor: Meat market for new workers.
“WORKERS' MEETINGS”
To Most People: Never heard of it.
To the Children’s Pastor: Way to inform children’s workers.
“CHURCH BULLETIN”
To Most People: A fan.
To the Children’s Pastor: An airplane .
“CHILDREN”
To Most People: Church of tomorrow.
To the Children’s Pastor: Church of today.
(Excerpted from the Cold Water Café at http://www.kidzblitz.com)